Not all that long ago, I ordered a cabinet online that was described with the words “some assembly required.” I now know this means you need a degree in civil engineering to put it together. The instructions, all 124 steps, appeared easy to follow. Once the assembly started, though, I could not tell which screw was what, and the supposedly easy-to-fit parts took a lot of work to actually fit. When the cabinet was finally finished, it was not sturdy. I am still leery about putting anything heavy or valuable in there. I even thought of donating it to our flea market, but it was politely declined. I guess even charity has its limits.

Although my career at IKEA probably went up in flames with that cabinet, I did learn a valuable lesson. It is extremely important to heed directions. The Gospels are filled with examples of the disciples failing to heed to Jesus’ words and missing his direction. In Mark, Jesus rebukes the disciples for failing to understand the parable of the seed and the sower: “Do you not understand this parable? Then how will you understand any of the parables?” (Mk 4:13). He does likewise in John’s Gospel when Philip asks him to show them the Father: “Have I been with you for so long a time and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?” (14:9). I admittedly would have been in a similar boat; puzzles and riddles drive me crazy.

There are many times, I imagine, that all of us would simply like to be given the answer without agonizing. Everything is not always clear though. Discernment takes time and effort, and it often only comes after wrestling in prayer and embracing hardship.

‘He Knows Best What Is Good for Us’

St. Francis de Sales writes extensively about the need for patient reflection and a willingness to let God lead. In “Introduction to the Devout Life,” he writes, “Always give good heed to the word of God, whether you hear or read it in private, or hearken to it when publicly preached: Listen with attention and reverence; seek to profit by it, and do not let the precious words fall unheeded.”

I saw a great example of this in our men’s group. One of the men there was debating if he should change careers and relocate. He was offered a substantial amount more to move, but he was not certain if that was God’s will for him. Finally, after weeks, he decided against the change. He credited the prophet Elijah for helping him. “I was reading through 1 Kings,” he said, “and in the 19th chapter discovered Elijah finding God’s will in a tiny whisper. I was listening to too much outside noise; I needed to listen to my heart.” Thank God discernment came in time; his indecision was driving his wife insane.

Occasionally though, it is better to leave things up to the experts and not try to figure things out alone. Many years ago, I tried to help my grandmother with her taxes. After looking over various statements and bills, we were ready to have a world war. With her usual wit, she calmly told me, “Thank you for your help; now take me to H&R Block.” She was right. I was more hindrance than help, and sometimes pride must give way to practicality. St. Teresa of Avila notes something similar in “The Interior Castle”: “I think it is best for us to place ourselves in the presence of God, contemplate his mercy and grandeur … and leave him to give us what he will, whether water or drought, for he knows best what is good for us.” That obviously does not let us off the discernment hook, but it does remind us that we are — thankfully — not in charge. 

FATHER MICHAEL ACKERMAN is the pastor at Resurrection Parish, Bethel Park, Pennsylvania, and chaplain at Seton LaSalle Catholic High School in Pittsburgh.