Forty years ago, Robert Fulghum published his classic book, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten,” reflecting on timeless lessons like, “Be kind to one another,” “Clean up after yourself,” and “Share.” Learning does not stop in kindergarten, though. Ten years later, those 6-year-olds are teenagers learning another set of rules: the rules of the road. And just as the lessons of kindergarten transcend the classroom, the lessons of the road transcend the highway to apply to all paths of life.

We are all reminded of these rules when we slip into the driver seat and grip the wheel for the millionth time: “Stay in your lane,” “Do not pass,” “Wrong way. Do not enter.” These road directions have become so widely understood that many signs do not even include words, just signs and symbols to keep us on the straight and narrow paths of life. When we see squiggly lines on a sign, there are curves ahead. When the sign depicts a hump, we slow down.

If only we hung these signs in our offices, conference rooms, churches and schools, living by them daily. Just as that kindergarten lesson to “Be kind” continues to be relevant, we often need to be reminded, “Stay in your lane.” We all have endured people at meetings who pride themselves on always sharing their opinion. As they speak, we wonder, “How does this topic even concern you?” Your inside voice is screaming, “Just stay in your lane.” Your outside voice — with the kindness you learned in kindergarten — says, “Thank you for your insight.”

Taking a different path

You get a call one day from superiors asking you to take on an assignment, a difficult one. That traffic sign with the squiggly lines pops into your head, letting you know that this pending assignment will be filled with many twists and curves to navigate. Or you come to one of those situations where you know there is no middle ground and the question is, “How important is it to come out on top?” Maybe you should just take the higher road and “Yield,” waving the person onward with what he or she wants. Sometimes it is just not worth it to win.

Other times there are many decisions that will need to be made, many answers to be given to questions that have not yet been asked or even imagined. That sign with the little bump might need to be remembered: just slow down. That problem has been at this parish for years; you need to take it slowly and navigate it prudently. Because there is no turning back on some decisions: “No U-turn allowed.”

It takes a while for teenagers who are gripping the wheel and taking their lives into their own hands for the first time to absorb the wisdom of these simple road signs. There are many signs along the way to guide us, but all of these signs come at us quickly, sometimes at 55 mph. Their guidance (or our conscience) might be saying, “Do not enter,” don’t go there. When we come to a crossroads in life, pondering whether we go right or left, we might realize that one way leads to a “Dead end” with “No outlet,” and we need to change course to take a different path.

The sign visible in many of our dioceses, including my own, is “Merge.” It is hoped that all the merging parts do so in an orderly way, remembering the wisdom learned in kindergarten and driver’s ed: “Take turns,” “Be nice,” “Play fair,” and “Construction ahead.” 

FATHER PATRICK M. CARRION is pastor of five parishes in East Baltimore, Maryland, and director of the Office of Cemetery Management for the Archdiocese of Baltimore.