Those about to be ordained a priest stand before the ordinary and respond simultaneously “I do” to the five resolutions asked of them. Then, immediately following these five questions, each man kneels alone before the bishop, who asks, “Do you promise respect and obedience to me and to my successors?” Again, the response is a simple “I do.”

Words and actions can be so packed with meaning. This final question is answered eye to eye, kneeling not standing, the ordinand’s hands between the bishop’s. Even the change from “Do you resolve” to “Do you promise” is significant. A resolution reads as a personal goal — in this context, “to celebrate the mysteries,” “to be united to Christ,” etc. A promise is a commitment to the other that you will do something. The former is a personal undertaking; the latter is a binding agreement. Obedience and respect are powerful commitments, made not just to the present ordinary, but also to his unknown successors for decades to come.

Obedience is a constant theme in Scripture, starting with the initial act of disobedience in the Garden of Eden. Some examples stand out — for example, a confused Abraham surrendering his will to God’s will (Gn 22); Mary’s fiat as she wondered, “How can this be?” (Lk 1:34-38); Jesus’ submission of his will to the Father’s in the Garden of Gethsemane (Lk 22:42) before shedding his blood on the cross, exclaiming, “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit” (Lk 23:46).

A priest’s promise of obedience and respect is countercultural. Each year on Holy Family Sunday, many presiders select the short form of the reading from Colossians to avoid the words “be subordinate” (Col 3:18). Today’s world sees submission as weakness; it exalts following your own will. Scripture states the opposite, as Christ said to the apostles, “Follow me” (Mt 9:9).

The Countless “I Dos”

While the marriage rite no longer mandates that the word “obey” be used, should not the bride and groom radically declare one to another that they will order their lives to the other’s desires? The United States military keeps the word “obey” in its oath of enlistment as it understands the importance of submission and order. The Church sees order as a path to holiness, hence holy orders.

If submission is viewed as breaking one’s spirit, it’s understandable that it is not embraced by society and possibly not fully understood by those kneeling before the bishop. We might reimagine the concept as a giving, not a breaking, of one’s will. Submission should be perceived as a fulfillment, not a diminishment, of self. One is not losing oneself but becoming someone who would not, could not, be without that “I do.”

A priest’s “I do” is not only to the shepherd of the diocese, but to all the sheep — the presbyterate — that come with him. Our “I do” includes respecting other priests, saying “yes” to be with one another. It is not all about me; it is about us, and the “us” are asked to attend Chrism Masses, participate in days of recollection and spend time with those whom we might not choose as a companion. Jesus said, “I have called you friends” (Jn 15:15), and he asks the same of us. Our “I do” goes beyond attending events or moving to a new parish; it includes the attitude we have about the diocese. If a pastor, when asked to raise funds for the annual appeal, does so begrudgingly, he might be able to check the obedience box for doing it, but he cannot check the respect box for how he did it.

Our promise of respect and obedience when we’re ordained as a deacon and again as a priest is not fulfilled simply by stating “I do” at each ordination, but in the countless “I dos” of a lifetime of ministry. It is in the constancy of responding “I do” that the good work God began in you on both ordination days is brought to fulfillment. 

FATHER PATRICK CARRION is pastor of five parishes in East Baltimore, Maryland, and director of the Office of Cemetery Management for the Archdiocese of Baltimore.