To begin the new year, my spiritual director challenged me to grow in virtue rather than make a picayune resolution. I decided that I was going to be more patient and charitable in my daily interactions. That only lasted several days. After a daily Mass, a man came up to me to complain that the parking lot nearest the church was blocked off for a wedding and he could not park in his usual place. Initially, I listened to him, but growing weary of his rant, I told him dismissively that walking was good for his health and walked to the sacristy. It was not a very pastoral response. Later in the day, I was reading from the Letter of James and came across this passage: “Everyone should be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, for the wrath of God does not accomplish the righteousness of God” (1:19-20). God was most definitely allowing me to test my attempt at virtuous growth, and it was not going so well!

In our lives as priests, I would imagine that all of us are truly striving to emulate the Lord and grow in virtue. However, that involves a real struggle at every moment. When things are going our way and people are agreeable, it is easy to be pleasant and affable. We may even fashion ourselves as the new Father Chuck O’Malley (a character played by Bing Crosby in the “Bells of St. Mary’s), able to charm the masses. At difficult moments though, perhaps we feel like James and John, who, when encountering opposition from the Samaritans, asked the Lord if they could call down fire from the sky and be rid of them (cf. Lk 9:54). Charity is the mark of a shepherd, and our task has to be one of joyful perseverance, although the wrathful fire thing would be easier.

Not long after another trying week at the parish, I went on a priest retreat at a monastery, which was just what the doctor ordered. While rummaging through their library, I came across a delightful book, “Union with God” (Ignatius, $19.95), by Blessed Dom Marmion. One of the chapters in the book was entitled “The Self-Surrender of Love,” and it had much to say with regard to patience. “When a soul gives herself for love’s sake and without reserve to Jesus … he provides her with a thousand opportunities for practicing patience. Now patience perfects the soul. As our Blessed Father (St. Benedict) says, it is by patience that we share in the sufferings of Christ” (p. 157). That passage became the basis of my reflection for the week. I even tried to go back to reread it, but I could not find the book again. It was a reminder to me that God often gives just what we need in that moment. In all honesty though, even though God does provide, my impatient misfiling in the Dewey Decimal System probably precluded anyone else from finding it again either!

Growth in priestly virtue certainly takes more than a year to accomplish, and patience is a virtue that will be a perennial test. The late Mother Angelica, a fiery woman known for her passion and wit, often reflected upon her battle with patience. She once stated: “When I was a young novice, I used to pray early in the morning, ‘Dear Lord, today I am going to be patient, come hell or high water.’ And by nine o’clock came hell and high water! I blew it!” I imagine that almost all of us have had to wade those waters, too, and sometimes it may not have been pretty.

To grow in patience, we must continue onward each day and fight for the Lord. That means that we must daily die to our egos and passions as we endure repetitive conversations, complaints and moments of fatigue and frustration. God, for his part, never fails to show patience with us, and he will give us opportunities to return the favor in ordinary ways. Perhaps in a battle over parking, in a misplaced library book or in the opportunity to struggle in our morning offering, come hell or high water.

FATHER MICHAEL ACKERMAN is the pastor at Resurrection Parish, Bethel Park, Pennsylvania, and chaplain at Seton LaSalle Catholic High School in Pittsburgh.