One thing I have always enjoyed about being a priest is greeting people before and after holy Mass. A lot of work can be done in those brief encounters. I have always viewed them as moments that can mushroom into bigger things for the good of the parish and the diocese. And yet, full disclosure, sometimes these interactions can be both riveting and confounding, a painful interruption in the day. Often it is not anything we did or did not do. It is simply that we wear a collar, and when people see that collar, it can set off a trigger.

A few months ago, I visited a parish and, at the end of holy Mass, I stood in the vestibule to greet the people in the customary way. As these greetings took place, filled with lots of smiles and pleasantries, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that a woman was waiting to see me. She was not smiling. This woman waited patiently until I finished greeting everyone. And then, you might say, she said her piece. Her words were like bullets. She expressed her anger vehemently at me because one of my priests had thrown her family out of the church. She asked, “Are you going to get off your behind and go bring them back?”

Of course, I had no idea of the context behind this exchange. So, I asked, “Ma’am, when did this happen?” The woman yelled, “Fifty years ago.” My jaw dropped in amazement. Here was a woman holding on to something for fifty years. It was a wonder she could still walk given the weight of what she had been carrying. Fifty years?

I looked her in the eye, and I said: “Ma’am, I think you are bitter. God doesn’t want you to be bitter. He wants you to be better. I am sorry for your pain. I apologize for the priest who hurt you and your family. But I know God wants you to move on from this.” The woman continued to express her anger before she was led away by an extended family member.

‘Let Go and Let God’

The remainder of that day, I could not get that woman out of my mind. I felt so bad that she was carrying this excess baggage, but I knew that I was just an innocent trigger to this woman’s pain by virtue of my collar, not to mention my miter and crosier. I also came to realize that in our humanness, and the woundedness therein, we can carry our own invisible baggage to the altar and bring it right back out with us. What is more, the fatigue from shouldering this heavy load can make us vulnerable to triggers. Being ordained does not make us immune to these burdens or triggers.

I have always found the month of August to be a pivotal time to unload the excess baggage that can so easily slow us down and even paralyze us. There is great solace in Jesus’ invitation, “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest” (Mt 11:28). In our prayer, and at the celebration of holy Mass, it is important that we give our burdens to God, especially those that we have been holding on to for a long time. “Let go and let God,” as they say. What excess baggage are we carrying with us that can preclude us from being free and unburdened in our life and ministry as a priest?

As we find ourselves on the threshold of a new academic year, this is an opportune time to reload our hearts and focus on the essentials, more specifically, the needs of our priestly life. This moment demands that we be intentional about scheduling times in our calendar to feed our souls and allow us to continue to grow in our priesthood. As the saying goes, we cannot give what we do not have. Even though many of us have long since graduated from school, our growth and learning are not to end. And as we continue on our journey, remember that God does not want us to be bitter, but better. 

BISHOP DAVID J. BONNAR, editor of The Priest, is bishop of the Diocese of Youngstown.