The time was 3:25 a.m. when I was woken out of a deep sleep by a thundering crash. I had no idea what it was, but my heart felt it. Going to investigate, I looked at the dining room, kitchen and chapel and found nothing awry. Then I walked into the living room and discovered that a mirror that had been hanging above a table was missing. All that remained were the two anchors that had held it to the wall. My eyes moved downward, and I saw that the mirror had fallen and was wedged between the table and the wall. The wire holding the mirror to the anchors had snapped.

I had a hard time resuming sleep that night. The crashing sound that had startled me from sleep remained fresh in my ears, and my heart still felt it. Later that morning, in the midst of prayer, I found myself reflecting on what had happened. It dawned on me that our lives as priests are like that wire. With the stress, pressures and tensions of ministry, sometimes our wire can snap and detach from the anchor to the extent that we crash. We all have breaking points, and these crashing moments can happen suddenly, without warning.

What compounds the issue is that our lives as priests intertwine with the lives of others whom we serve. It is not just our own struggles we must navigate but also the pains and sufferings of others. How do we bend and not break? The key is to develop resiliency. The Guide to Ongoing Formation of Priests acknowledges this, stating, “Pastoral work demands the stability of mind and heart that distinguishes a mature individual. Moreover, he needs enough resiliency to handle his own struggles, while sharing to some extent, the struggles of others. When a priest works with souls, many disclose strong feelings such as anger, sadness and fear. If the priest has not handled those feelings well himself, he will find it challenging to help others to do so” (No. 109).

In many ways, because priests are at the service of others, our heart is like an intersection that can become gridlocked. That’s why we need to have a spiritual director and good friends to help us name and own the conflicting emotions that can overwhelm our heart, so that the wire does not snap, and we do not find ourselves falling. It is equally imperative that we make sure to take an annual retreat, take a day off each week and plan vacation time. At the same time, it is vital that we are intentional about exercise and rest as we aspire to keep ourselves intact.

At the end of the day, the work of living a healthy integrated life comes down to taking care of not only the body but also the soul. Every day we need to find that balance. The Guide says it so well: “Finally, a thriving human life is one that keeps in balance the legitimate needs of both soul and body. Finding the time and energy to pray, to establish a healthy lifestyle, to get enough sleep, to exercise, and to relax without shirking our priestly duties demands prudence and discipline. We might not always get it right, but the mature individual always strives for that balance and rhythm” (No. 30).

With many of us living alone and assuming responsibilities for multiple parishes or larger configurations of different churches, our hearts are stretched more than ever. If we do not intentionally take care of ourselves, what good are we for others? The people of God count on us every day to be there for them in the name of Christ. We cannot do this adequately unless we intentionally take care of ourselves, seeking every day to find resiliency and balance in our lives so that we bend and do not break.

BISHOP DAVID J. BONNAR, editor of The Priest, is bishop of the Diocese of Youngstown.