Through conversations with pastors and priest friends, I hear that it is often challenging to respond to parishioners seeking spiritual direction. These priests, of course, answer warmly and pastorally, but, citing the time to make that commitment in an otherwise full schedule, they also seek other sources for such ministry, either among other priests or deacons, associations of spiritual directions, or lay spiritual directors in their parish. In an environment of Church renewal, particularly in the United States, with last summer’s National Eucharistic Congress and the National Eucharistic Revival’s current Year of Mission, it may be that an increasing number of people will be seeking deeper reflection, discernment and action in their faith.

In considering the 2025 Jubilee Year of Hope in which the Church journeys, there is an implicit awareness of being pilgrims of hope, of living beyond our thoughts and plans, and focusing on love. Pope Francis writes about returning to the heart in his most recent encyclical, Dilexit Nos (“He Loved Us”), calling all to return to the center of their being, beyond the intelligence and will, to where the Divine dwells. Here, we have a universal call to experience the depths of our hearts.

What does it mean to return to our hearts, and how is that accomplished? We can look at Jesus’ encounter with the two companions on the road to Emmaus to see how he opens their hearts by being present to them in the chaos and confusion surrounding the Crucifixion. Their hearts burn within them as he breaks open the word and breaks bread with them (cf. Lk 24:30-32). This opening of their hearts also opens their eyes to recognize him.

‘Our Hidden Center’

If you are like me, you are comfortable staying away from the heart, which can be quite a scary space. Pope Francis suggests that we have a broken anthropology in that we spend most of our time in our intellect and will, with a great avoidance of the heart. Most people are comfortable staying in the intellectual realm, with little desire or motivation to visit the sentient realms where feelings reside, the affective realm where emotions rumble, or their core where the Divine speaks. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “The heart is the dwelling-place where I am, where I live … the place ‘to which I withdraw.’ The heart is our hidden center, beyond the grasp of our reason and of others; only the Spirit of God can fathom the human heart and know it fully. The heart is the place of decision … the place of truth … the place of encounter … it is the place of covenant” (No. 2563).

Imagine with me that someone is discerning that deep movement in their heart. Helping them open that space, and creating a safe environment that listens, explores and validates without judgment is key. Here, we can ponder if this is the divine voice, or a false truth, or, if you are me, mostly the ego speaking. Exploring this in contemplative listening and compassionate presence is exciting. We call it spiritual direction, but it is mostly, as it was on the way to Emmaus, accompaniment.

I love the word “accompaniment.” It is derived from the Latin roots com (with, together) and panis (bread). When we accompany, we break bread in conversation, opening the heart and all the possibilities to recognize the presence of God, just like on that Emmaus road long ago. We accompany people in the presence of the Holy Spirit, who is the one directing everything. By making a safe space and offering a disciplined and compassionate ear, the other’s heart can burn with new movement, vocation, mission and clarity. Perhaps you’ve experienced that in deep conversations with friends or in your own spiritual direction/accompaniment relationship.

In Training for Accompaniment

A few years ago, I felt called to enroll in a lay spiritual direction training program. With 34 years of married life and a long career of advocacy for health care and the Department of Veterans Affairs, I was compelled to turn my ear to people in the intimacy of their faith journeys. I was amazed at the academics and, further, at the amount of formation involved. Oh, how silly of me to think that I was ready for such a ministry. The ongoing turning of my heart, the process of embracing a new compassionate disposition, recognizing my own brokenness and becoming contemplatively present to others, has been a wondrous experience.

While I’ve never been in persona Christi for a community in liturgy and certainly have not had the privilege of consecrating bread and wine into the body and blood of Our Lord, I have had the great privilege of accompanying another in spiritual direction. My first opportunity to work one-on-one without faculty supervision was a humbling experience, causing me to ponder my sinfulness and my worthiness to be with someone in the presence of the Holy Spirit as he examines his life. It is powerful and humbling, to say the least. It is also a call to ongoing prayer, reconciliation and desire to walk with the Lord.

Let me share a little about the academic side of the training program. First, I must say that I love being an adult learner. My two-year experience has included more than 100 hours of practicum; one-on-one accompaniment under supervision; 720 hours of study spread out over six eight-week semesters and two residencies; and the writing of 149 graded essays, including review of my colleagues’ work (and theirs of mine), referencing at least 144 separate books, articles and other resources. So, while the process has been greatly transformative, it has also been academically demanding.

One of my favorite lines comes from the 17th-century philosopher Blaise Pascal. He noted, “The heart has its ways that the mind does not know” (Pensées, No. 277). This insight addresses the centrality of the heart, as Pope Francis has advocated. It also indicates that reason is not enough. Our thoughts and wills are only a part of us. We must learn to listen to the heart. Imagine if I were only interested in the academic part of the spiritual direction curriculum. Most of the value of this experience has come through the transformation of my ego and, more importantly, of my heart.

One key component of theology and spiritual life is discerning the “signs of the times.” Pope Francis names some of these in his 2020 book “Let Us Dream.” Henri Nouwen, in his book “Discernment: Reading the Signs of Daily Life,” also speaks of the “signs of the times.” How Nouwen addresses time is key for all of us, especially those in spiritual accompaniment. Nouwen makes the distinction between our understanding of time as chronos, as before and after, time divided into years, days, hours, minutes and seconds, and time as kairos, the intuitive time of God. This time is found in inspirations, intuitions and patterns over longer periods of time. One can imagine that chronos belongs to the intellect and kairos to the heart. In kairos is where we find God.

Essential Qualities

Speaking of time, let’s wrap up. “Who has time?” you might be thinking, especially those in the busy and overcommitted role of shepherding a parish. Gratefully, we maintain our time for the sacraments, for education, for personal care and, most especially, for prayer. But what of additional time to be a spiritual companion? Perhaps we’ll need to prioritize who we can and can’t see. Maybe we have ordained friends with time and capacity for this ministry. And we might look to trained lay people in our own parishes with this unique call to listen.

If we don’t know anyone, how might we recognize them? The Benedictine monk and spiritual writer Dom Hubert van Zeller offers the following characteristics as a guide:

1. An unprejudiced eye
2. A sense of detachment
3. An interior life that has been purified by the action of grace
4. An intellectual capacity complemented by circumspection
5. A soul that has been weathered by suffering
6. Suffering that has taught her/him to love others
7. A willingness to bear the other’s troubles
8. An experience with temptation
9. An experience with failure
10. An awareness of his/her own weaknesses
11. A supernatural instinct
12. Experiences of having sought the Spirit in the darkness

These qualities presuppose the need for prayer, spiritual guidance, self-awareness and the development of a contemplative disposition. As Father Nouwen asserts, discernment and listening with the heart “is a lifelong process.” Perhaps you are someone like this, or maybe you know someone who is.

Responding

Our Church is in renewal. Recent studies have indicated that some Catholic adults are being called to deeper reflection, beyond catechesis. How will we respond? First, with joy for the transforming work of the Holy Spirit. From there, we ourselves can listen and look for others who can accompany others with their current concerns and desires.

This is an exciting time. In the United States, we continue the National Eucharistic Revival, accompanying others on the journey of faith in the Revival’s Year of Mission. Universally, the Church is celebrating a Jubilee Year of Hope, remembering hope and striving to love. The pope’s fourth, and most recent, encyclical calls us into our heart space. In 2025, the Holy Spirit is calling the whole Church to accompaniment and hope.

As Pascal asserts, “The heart has its ways that the mind does not know.” In this year of mission and pilgrimage, perhaps the Holy Spirit does, too! May each of you enjoy satisfaction in service with contemplative hearts and in compassionate presence.

DON PRISBY is a member of the Holy Name of Jesus Catholic Community in the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis. He and his wife, Beth, have been married for 34 years and have three adult children. Don, who holds a BA in philosophy from the University of San Diego and an STB from the Pontifical Gregorian University, is completing his residencies and certificate studies in spiritual direction from Divine Mercy University in Sterling, Virginia.